CURIOSITY > OUR #1 RELATIONAL SUPERPOWER

If I could choose just one relational skill to cultivate for deeper intimacy, fewer ruptures, and more nourishing connection, it would be this:

Curiosity.

Not the kind that pokes or prods for information, but the kind that listens with its whole heart.

The kind that says:

I care enough about you to wonder. I love you enough to not assume.

Because curiosity is an act of love.

🌿 Curiosity draws our attention outward

When we’re activated or hurt, our attention tends to collapse inward. We start filtering everything through our own story—our fears, our needs, our desire to protect or control.

But when we pause and shift into curiosity, something sacred happens.

We turn our gaze outward—not to fix or analyze, but to see.

We meet the person in front of us as new. Unfolding. Worth discovering.

✨ Story: My Daughter and the Yoga Mat

As a mother, I’ve had to learn the beautiful (and sometimes humbling) art of letting go of my agenda in favor of true curiosity.

For a long time, I imagined my daughter would grow up loving yoga like I do—chanting mantras barefoot beside me, flowing through sun salutations with joy. I was ready to pass the torch.

But one day, while I was lovingly setting up a cozy space for us to practice together, she looked at me with bright eyes and said:

“Mom… I think I want to do gymnastics instead.”

Oof.

My first impulse was to steer her back to the mat. But then I paused and remembered:

She is not here to be a reflection of me.

I am here to midwife her soul path.

That moment—where I chose curiosity over control—allowed me to see her. I let go of who I thought she should be, and opened to who she actually is. It changed everything.

🚫 Assumptions kill possibility

In close relationships, we often think we already know the other person:

• We predict what they’ll say.

• We assume what they’re feeling.

• We interpret their tone or silence with old stories.

But here’s the truth:

Assumption is the death of discovery.

When we stop wondering about each other, we stop relating to the person in front of us—and start relating to a memory. That’s when connection begins to fade.

Curiosity reanimates our relationships. It breathes life back into the space between us. It says:

I’m still learning you. I’m open to being surprised.

🌀 Story: When My Friend Canceled

For years, I had a standing Monday date with a dear friend. It was our sacred rhythm, our ritual of connection.

Then one day, she let me know that Mondays no longer worked for her.

My mind spiraled:

She doesn’t care anymore.

I must have done something wrong.

This friendship is fading.

But instead of reacting, I paused. I let myself feel the ache, the confusion. Then I asked her a few soft, loving questions:

“Hey love, is everything okay? I’m wondering what’s happening for you around our Mondays.”

And her response surprised me. It wasn’t a dig. It wasn’t about me. She simply needed to restructure her week to honor a new personal need.

Curiosity saved our connection.

It brought clarity, closeness, and mutual respect. It made room for a new rhythm to emerge—one that honored us both.

🫶 Curiosity creates emotional safety

When someone feels your sincere, non-judgmental interest in their inner world, they soften.

Walls come down.

Truth comes forward.

Curiosity says: You don’t have to perform. You get to be real.

This is how emotional safety is built—not through fixing, but through presence and wonder.

“The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.”

— Richard Moss

🌱 Practicing the Superpower

Curiosity isn’t just a mindset—it’s a muscle. One that grows with use.

Here are a few small ways to begin:

• Ask: “What else might be true here?”

• Replace “Why did you do that?” with: “Can you help me understand what was going on for you?”

• Soften your tone. Open your posture. Let yourself not know.

Curiosity doesn’t require you to abandon your truth.

It simply asks you to pair it with humility and presence.

💌 A Loving Invitation

This week, try this in one of your relationships:

Pause. Breathe. Get curious.

Let yourself not know.

Ask one question you wouldn’t normally ask.

And truly listen—not to reply, but to feel the person behind the words.

Let your curiosity be an offering.

Let it be your superpower.

With love and wonder,

Lara Christine